And I’m not talking about quoting from the Sermon on the Mount in the Bible, but a passage from a “silent dialogue” with God’s son yesterday. In a press release distributed on PRWeb yesterday, an outfit called ACIMI — A Course In Miracles Inc. — Jesus is quoted from an alleged “interview” conducted by Clare Lamanna, who teaches the Course of Miracles.

However, there must have been a breakdown of the Transubstantiational Translator because Jesus’ ancient Hebrew got turned into spiritual gibberish. And while it does follow in the semi-Socratic style Jesus often employed in the Bible, He seems to have developed a habit of referring to Himself in the Third Person. But it must be Jesus. After all, it’s in quote marks:

“What does this mean for you? It means that in remembering Jesus you are remembering God. The whole relationship of the Son to the Father lies in him. His part in the Sonship is also yours, and his completed learning guarantees your own success. Is he still available for help? What did he say about this? Remember his promises, and ask yourself honestly whether it is likely that he will fail to keep them. Can God fail His Son? And can one who is one with God be unlike Him? Who transcends the body has transcended limitation. Would the greatest teacher be unavailable to those who follow him?”

Needless to say, the rest of the press release doesn’t follow Associated Press style or the widely accepted inverted-pyramid format of the traditional press release, and plays pretty fast and loose with semantics.

So who were the intended recipients of the release? God-forsaken cynical unbelieving journalists? Doubtful, though even the hardest-hearted among the Fourth Estate would have been hooked by the headline: “A Rare Interview with Jesus Christ Himself In A Course In Miracles.” Rare indeed!

But from there it would have been hard to keep a skeptic’s attention with the series of non sequiturs, incomplete sentences and spiritual babble that is set within quote marks and attributed to a silent conversation with Jesus during a “private miracle healing session” held in Wisconsin Dells, Wisc.

Perhaps it really was the intention of Jubi Onyeama — the listed media contact — to get some media placements from this “release,” and he or she plunked down a few hundred dollars to distribute it on PRWeb. But it’s clearer still that the intention was to distribute “A Course in Miracles,” an electronic book available for download free of charge from the release. Oh, and to gin up attendance at four classes where the “CIM” will be taught. No charge, but donations are accepted.

I have no qualms about admitting that behind most overt acts of public relations lurks a product and usually a spokesperson, though the product is not typically a miracle nor the pitchman a godhead.

But on the other hand, this seems more like a cult-recruitment ploy than an attempt to spread faith-borne miracles. Just ask yourself — What Would Jesus Sell?